The Three-Way

“I can’t wait to go home tonight. My girlfriend has a friend staying with us and she is totally hot.”

Me … “Really?”

“Yeah. She’s part Asian and has a big gorgeous booty. She’s pretty thin, but not anorexic-type thin, and not that much up here, (hands doing a circular motion in front of his chest), but she has a really, really nice booty. I’m thinking a three-way with my girlfriend. I came close to suggesting it a couple of days ago when we were all pretty toasted. I really think that they would go for it.”

Me ….”Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, but I’m really scared to do it.”

Me … “Why is that?”

“Have you ever seen Duck Dynasty?”

Me … “No, but I’ve seen a picture of the main guy in it.”

“Yeah, that’s what her boyfriend looks like. He’s big …. tattoos, kind of a biker type. He’s also really volatile.”

Me … “It doesn’t sound like a good idea if you have any kind of self-preservation instincts.”

“Yeah, but I’m thinking that there’s a pretty good chance that they would go for it. Whenever I’ve had a three-way before it was always the women that asked me first.”

Me … “Really?”  (This is where I think to myself “Whenever I’ve had a three-way? How many three-ways have you had? I’ve never had anyone ask me to join them in a three-way. I wonder why?”

“Yeah, when I was dealing coke it would happen all the time. They would say ‘Both me and my friend will do you if you give us $100 worth of coke,’ and I would say ‘Sure.’ It was a great deal. $100 worth of coke only cost me like $30 so it was a no-brainer.”

Me … “Yeah, sounds like a no-brainer to me.”

“But, I dunno. I don’t want to get my ass kicked by her boyfriend.”

Me … “yeah, that wouldn’t be worth it.” while all the time I’m thinking, “It might be worth it.”