Who is JB Rollo?

Who am I?

The terms of the Federal Witness Protection Program prevent me from discussing this. Suffice it to say that I am fond of long walks on the beach.

Contact JB Rollo

    Your Name (required)

    Your Email (required)


    Your Message

    I promise not to share your email, spam you, or stalk you.

    We Are Gods

    By on February 19, 2014 in IMHO with No Comments

    we are godsI have a tendency to view the world through the eyes of a child, or more accurately, through the eyes of a visitor from another planet. I like to observe life from a perspective that encompasses the entire human experience starting from the time we, at least most of us, lost our tails.

    The benefit of viewing the world from  this viewpoint is that I can compare my life with all of mankind which makes me feel very fortunate. Do you know why? Because I live like a king or a czar … actually more like an emperor, or even like a god. Whoa! You may say that I am clinically delusional and suffering from some kind of messianic complex. But it really is true from a historical perspective. Think of it.

    I live in an insulated cave that automatically maintains the temperature to the level of comfort that I decree. It keeps the elements out, more or less, while providing me with comfort, security and a place to store all of my accumulated necessities of life: dozens of books that I’ll never read, a huge assortment of clothing, most from decades past, and several metal cabinets systematically stuffed with all the important papers, (that I never look at), required to keep my life in order.

    I can sit upon a great throne of porcelain and eliminate my bodily wastes in the comfort of my own home, while perusing one of the many periodicals that keep me abreast of the antics of the rich and famous. In this same antiseptically purified room, I can then direct an adjustable stream of hot water to cleanse my body while simultaneously performing my own unique rendition of the rock opera “Tommy,” allowing my usually anemic voice to resonate in high-fidelity splendor, from the cool, tiled walls. “He’s a pin-ball wizard there has to be a twist, a pinball wizard has such a supple wri…i…ist. How do you think he does it? (I don’t know) What makes him so goo-ood?”

    I can go to a large silver box where I store fresh and frozen food shipped from around the world via Costco, a palatial international marketplace. In this box,  I store chilled ales, inspired by great empires of yore, in airtight  crystalline containers that I open with a great stainless steel key. I cook meals, beyond the imagination of any of the world’s emperors of the past, using a wood-less stove that can clean itself!

    With the flick of my finger I can turn on a huge electronic window to the world where I can view history being made or have a front row seat to the world’s great theatrical performances, all available at my command. I have the power to stop any performance on my whim, stopping time itself, to allow for me to get another of the world’s great ales, only to resume the performance from whence it stopped … on my command. With this great window I  witness the great unfolding of human evolution and discover answers to mankind’s greatest mysteries: the wonders of the universe, the inter-woven connectivity between all of the planet’s biological inhabitants, and what will be the fate of Snookie now that she is pregnant and cannot party-hearty like she did  on Jersey Shore, season 1.

    I can take out of my pocket a small, flat device of metal and plastic that fits perfectly in the palm of my hand. This miraculous device allows me to communicate instantaneously with virtually ANYBODY on our planet … as long as they possess the same type of miraculous device … with the exception of being able to directly communicate with the people in the companies that own this vast digital communication network. That ability, sadly, is still beyond the reach of mortal man. This same device allows me to directly access all of the worlds knowledge instantaneously, yet most of the time I use it to share pictures of my dinner on a “social network,” where others can make pithy comments and give me a thumbs up for my Photoshopped image of red-saturated tomatoes.

    “Yes,” you may say,” maybe we live better than kings of the past, but jeez, a god?”

    Yes, we do live as gods. I can walk outside and press a small button on a little plastic bauble that instantly unlocks a great metal chariot that I can personally steer, while seated in ergonomically correct bliss, to take me anywhere I desire, as long as the millions of other gods in chariots aren’t heading there too. In that case, I can still inch along in vast rows of chariots, in pure environmentally controlled comfort, listening to the world’s best music or the voices of the world’s greatest minds trying to sell me something that I don’t need.

    I can embark upon a huge, winged, shiny metallic cylinder, filled with seats and oval windows, that can take me above the clouds where I can fly like a bird while consuming little packets of peanuts and pretzels surrounded by hundreds of other gods, some sitting close enough to be my Siamese twin attached at the shoulder.

    So you see now that our place in human evolution is truly one of great power, privilege, and convenience beyond the imaginations of man living prior to our little blip of time. Of course our children, their children, and their childrens’ children will be bearing the cost for our opulence, but by the time they realize the true immensity of the cost, we will most likely be just a memory. Let’s a least hope so, for if they discover our folly while we are still living I’m afraid that they will send us all out on the ice-flows, (if there are still ice-flows), for the polar bears (if there are still polar bears), to lay us to rest.

    Leave a Reply